I have just watched the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel film for the second or third time.
The film is an expression of hope over expectation and isn’t that just what we are living with when we have parents with dementia?
As much as we laugh and make light of some of the happenings, we wish and hope for more than is probably possible. And yet the film, and life, show us that expectations can sometimes be met.
As we have mentioned, Mum and Dad live apart and that is not a position Dad likes but he faces it with humour and dignity.
My favourite recent story is what apparently happened on his 83th birthday in February. As you know, he suffers from loss of memory, frequent falls and worse. Mum came to visit him that day, we’re not sure if she was bearing gifts but Dad clearly felt there was one she could give!
Dad’s story is that she was moaning about some minor mishap – not unusual! He listened for a while and then said. “Let’s go to bed. It’s my birthday. Bed will make this all ok”.
Now Dad is pretty feeble, not really up to what he was suggesting! But clearly Mum did not know that. She left in a hurry! Dad’s comment was that at least he now knows how to stop her moaning about nothing.
Keeping a sense of humour and perspective is what we all need. Bed might help in some circumstances and if your expectations are high!