Keeping it from mum

As we mentioned in Policing your parents love life dad has formed an attachment to a lady at the Care Home where he lives. So far mum does not consciously know although she has been having upsetting dreams and thoughts about dad having an affair. The fact they are both in their 80’s seems to be of little relevance to either of them.

In fact, it seems dad has found a whole new lease of life, at least in his imagination. He is making all sorts of suggestive overtures to mum and from what we hear from the carers, to his lady friend as well. Most of the suggestions, we think, are things that are just not possible. And they are certainly not possible to write about!

I view myself as pretty broad minded but it has definitely tested my beliefs as well as giving me some challenges in managing my thought pictures. It’s one thing overhearing your 20 year old son snogging his girlfriend and making small talk but hearing the same of your 84 year old father is a whole different ball game! two-women-dementia

Anyway, back to mum. We have been diligently making sure that everyone knows to ensure dad is not with the ‘other woman’ when mum visits but by all accounts Violet sits in the lounge or the dining room looking daggers at mum when she visits.

Dad still insists mum is the love of his life and frequently describes himself as a happily married man. He gets particularly offended when the manager suggests he shouldn’t have Violet in his room and swears he has never made inappropriate suggestions.

The two ladies, his wife and Violet, seem to exist in different realms, rarely meeting in his mind. Let’s hope that they also never meet in real life!