Under the table

Good days with parents who suffer from Dementia are all too few and even the best are bitter sweet as they remind you of when they were more able and less dependent.

Before Dad went into the care home, Monday was usually a good day for him. As we have mentioned before he goes to a lunch club which is full of people his age. There are even a few men, although they have to sit on a separate table because the ladies say their conversation is boring.

Dad really thrives in this environment. Good food, good gossip and a bit of a fuss made of him.  But most of all it means he gets out of the flat and mixes with people. There has been coverage in recent months about the governments concerns around the isolation and loneliness of old people and they should definitely be concerned!

One Monday after the lunch club, dad was a lot less enthused. So I probed a bit, yes they had lovely food, roast pork together with crackling, one of his favourites. Yes, he had a good chat. Yes, pudding was nice, although he couldn’t remember what it was. He never can.  Remembering the main course is the maximum his brain can cope with.

So in the end I had to ask if everything was ok?

Seems the problem was that a lady had collapsed at the lunch. This is not that unusual. Dad has in fact fallen over himself. But this lady was on the floor for about 30 minutes and Dad says she had been on the floor for a while before anyone saw her. She fell and rolled under one of the serving tables. Dad couldn’t attract anyone’s attention and couldn’t get up out of his chair to go to her himself.

He was really upset for the lady but also because this yet again reminded him of how his life has changed and how little he can do. A real shame as Monday is usually a fun day and he comes back full of beans and happy stories.